Am I Inadequate? Really?

 Am I Inadequate? Really?

 

"Due to inadequate application conditions, we cannot process your admission to our university this semester.

Hoping to see you among us in the future,

Student affairs"

İnadequate?! What exactly was inadequate?  Is it because I speak 3 languages ​​instead of 4? Or is it because I wrote a 19-page acceptance letter instead of 20 pages? Or is it because my school average is 99.6 instead of 100? Is it because I'm sixth in school instead of first?

What was the thing that made me inadequate? Until now, I always felt that I am adequate. For my mother, for my father, for my siblings, for my teachers, for my friends... I was even more than adequate. When did this turn upside down?

Inadequate... What really was my goal? I forgot... It was something along the lines of "Studying Architecture or Industrial Design". In fact, it didn't even matter where or which school I was in...

I was so happy while learning. I was sitting and drawing, but no one asked me how many languages ​​I spoke, what grade I was in school, where I was at school, whether I had a visa or not... So what was it that distracted me from my goal and made me inadequate?

Was it because all my friends applied abroad? For whom was this goal, this desire? Who was I trying to be adequate for?

However, it was very "adequate" for me to study in my own country. And it was "adequate"for me to be designing in some way even if I wasn't studying... Why wasn't just designing enough for me?

Why did I concentrate on someone else and not on my goal? Messing around with people made me lose my goal...

So what to do now?

How to set goals? 

How to start again?

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